self-care
i went to the doctor to address some discomfort in my nether regions.
upon arrival i explained to the young intern in great detail the symptoms and location of the problem while he nodded and made notes on the computer.
he then went to consult with the grown-up doctor who later joined us and, after some pleasantries, introduced me to the analscope, stuck it up my ass and told me that i was simply in an itch/scratch cycle and there was nothing to worry about.
phew.
upon arrival i explained to the young intern in great detail the symptoms and location of the problem while he nodded and made notes on the computer.
he then went to consult with the grown-up doctor who later joined us and, after some pleasantries, introduced me to the analscope, stuck it up my ass and told me that i was simply in an itch/scratch cycle and there was nothing to worry about.
phew.
it's probably best not to have been an egyptian queen in a past life
Nefertiti means "the beautiful one has arrived"
she ruled alongside Akhenaten during the 18th dynasty (1370-1330 BC)
they built the city Tell El Amarna to worship their god Aten
it became the centre of Egypt's new religion
hundreds of years of culture and worship exchanged for a radical new concept: monotheism
temples shut down, priests forced to change their ways
the old gods disregarded
she changed her name to Neferneferuaten-Nefertiti ("the Aten is radiant of radiance [because] the beautiful one has arrived")
it seems that her husband considered her an equal -
he placed her name next to his on his royal cartouche
and allowed her to practice the art of priesthood
and they had a nice family
but twelve years into the Amarna period she disappears
her body has never been found.
she ruled alongside Akhenaten during the 18th dynasty (1370-1330 BC)
they built the city Tell El Amarna to worship their god Aten
it became the centre of Egypt's new religion
hundreds of years of culture and worship exchanged for a radical new concept: monotheism
temples shut down, priests forced to change their ways
the old gods disregarded
she changed her name to Neferneferuaten-Nefertiti ("the Aten is radiant of radiance [because] the beautiful one has arrived")
it seems that her husband considered her an equal -
he placed her name next to his on his royal cartouche
and allowed her to practice the art of priesthood
and they had a nice family
but twelve years into the Amarna period she disappears
her body has never been found.
cake and kool-aid: no salt added!
high fibre
low fat
source of omega-3
no salt added
and without sacrificing great taste -
you get some of those and plenty more with our products!!
low fat
source of omega-3
no salt added
and without sacrificing great taste -
you get some of those and plenty more with our products!!
higher dimension in random walk theory
Imagine a drunkard walking randomly in an idealized city. The city is effectively infinite and arranged in a square grid, and at every intersection, the drunkard chooses one of the four possible routes (including the one he came from) with equal probability. Will the drunkard ever get back to his home from the bar? It turns out that he will.
prayer
Give us grace to accept with serenity
the shit that cannot be changed,
courage to change the shit which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish shit from bullshit.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting shit as a pathway to peace,
taking this sinful shit as it is,
not as I would have it,
trusting that shit will turn out right,
if i surrender to shit,
so that I may be reasonably happy in this shit,
and supremely happy forever in the next shit.
what kind of shithead is our mayor? this kind of shithead:
All Toronto Public Library branches, including book drops, are closed, and all bookmobiles, home library service and programs and services are discontinued due to a labour disruption. Borrowers are asked to keep library materials until the labour disruption is over. No fines will be charged on overdue library materials during this time. Some web services will be available.
Please visit www.torontpubliclibrary.ca for further information.
or call Rob Ford on his cell: 647.519.2823
Please visit www.torontpubliclibrary.ca for further information.
or call Rob Ford on his cell: 647.519.2823
...and they all lived.
coffee at the mall and a planning session:
wedding, mortgage, furniture, jobs -
here's how the numbers look now, in four years, in 40
I've never seen two more cordial, less passionate people on the brink
of merging their lives together
they agree and agree and agree
reassuring each other of the sense in it
checking the figures
he shows her how it all lines up on paper
kids out of school, starting grade one in the school of life
it'll be years before they decide
whether to begin a real friendship
wedding, mortgage, furniture, jobs -
here's how the numbers look now, in four years, in 40
I've never seen two more cordial, less passionate people on the brink
of merging their lives together
they agree and agree and agree
reassuring each other of the sense in it
checking the figures
he shows her how it all lines up on paper
kids out of school, starting grade one in the school of life
it'll be years before they decide
whether to begin a real friendship
Ejesus
While the Gospels clearly depict Jesus as having a special relationship with God, do they actually affirm what Christianity later explicitly affirmed, that Jesus is God incarnate, God become flesh? The evidence points in different directions. Mark, the earliest of the four, certainly believes that Jesus is God's Son, but he also iAs he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone."
Mark 10:17-18
Yet in spite of Jesus' popularity during his lifetime, the early Christian movement after Jesus' death was only a small group with a tiny power base in Jerusalem, a handful of Jesus' closest followers who stayed loyal to Jesus' legacy because they were convinced that Jesus was the Messiah, that he had died for everyone's sins, and that he was raised from the dead. It was a movement that received its greatest boost when the most unlikely figure joined it, the apostle Paul.
The big question about Jesus is: did Jesus think of himself as Messiah, did he believe he was the distinctive person that had a really pivotal role to play in God's plan? Scholars are divided about this. Galilee
It's only really modern scholarship, if you want to call it that, that's begun to say "Well hold on a minute. He was not a Christian, He was not born a Christian, he didn't live a Christian - He didn't even know what the term 'Christian' meant. Jesus was a Jew."
Mark Goodacre
Mark 10:17-18
Yet in spite of Jesus' popularity during his lifetime, the early Christian movement after Jesus' death was only a small group with a tiny power base in Jerusalem, a handful of Jesus' closest followers who stayed loyal to Jesus' legacy because they were convinced that Jesus was the Messiah, that he had died for everyone's sins, and that he was raised from the dead. It was a movement that received its greatest boost when the most unlikely figure joined it, the apostle Paul.
The big question about Jesus is: did Jesus think of himself as Messiah, did he believe he was the distinctive person that had a really pivotal role to play in God's plan? Scholars are divided about this. Galilee
It's only really modern scholarship, if you want to call it that, that's begun to say "Well hold on a minute. He was not a Christian, He was not born a Christian, he didn't live a Christian - He didn't even know what the term 'Christian' meant. Jesus was a Jew."
Mark Goodacre
death by a thousand little bites
to buy something from you
i have to download a special program
created by you
on technology made by you that i fortunately already own
learn to use the program
use it to make the purchase
and phone you to confirm the purchase
because you don't want to pay anyone
to help me
pay you
there is no profit without labour
i am not a tin bird and this is not my song
let's be optimistic and say 100 years:
that's 36,500 fresh starts
unless you take a nap in the middle of the day
in which case you get a bonus
that's 36,500 fresh starts
unless you take a nap in the middle of the day
in which case you get a bonus
boycott non-union unsafe morally bankrupt value village
Excerpted by an article by Rod Drown (Grab News, Vancouver)
Editor’s Note: the following story, which was thoroughly researched during a period extending from mid – 2006 to mid – 2007, was offered to several Lower Mainland newspapers. Few expressed an interest in it. The only newspaper that did express an interest, in the end, reluctantly refused to run it because all of the anonymous sources quoted (two of which I had spoken to personally) were afraid to let their names be made public because they feared repercussions from Value Village. Or they feared that friends still working in Value Village would be harassed by the chain’s management. The other sources were communicated with through email and the interviews were carried on it that fashion; they generally validated the claims made by the other people I had met.
I repeatedly attempted to contact various members of Value Village management by email but no responses were ever forthcoming.
“A hellhole!” is how some past and present Value Village staff members, about 80 % women, have described working conditions at Lower Mainland outlets of North America’s largest seller of used clothing and second hand goods. PROFITS AS HIGH AS $8 MILLION.
Editor’s Note: the following story, which was thoroughly researched during a period extending from mid – 2006 to mid – 2007, was offered to several Lower Mainland newspapers. Few expressed an interest in it. The only newspaper that did express an interest, in the end, reluctantly refused to run it because all of the anonymous sources quoted (two of which I had spoken to personally) were afraid to let their names be made public because they feared repercussions from Value Village. Or they feared that friends still working in Value Village would be harassed by the chain’s management. The other sources were communicated with through email and the interviews were carried on it that fashion; they generally validated the claims made by the other people I had met.
I repeatedly attempted to contact various members of Value Village management by email but no responses were ever forthcoming.
“A hellhole!” is how some past and present Value Village staff members, about 80 % women, have described working conditions at Lower Mainland outlets of North America’s largest seller of used clothing and second hand goods. PROFITS AS HIGH AS $8 MILLION.
Many employees posting on the Retail Workers website describe crowded, poorly ventilated backrooms piled high with bags of clothing sometimes containing black mold, bedbugs, spiders and even dead animals. Such claims have been supported by local employees.The September/October 2001 Archives of Environmental Health told how Black Mold (Stachybotrys) spores, which contain Macrocylic Trichothecenes, may cause harm when inhaled or ingested.Store employees also face harassment from vindictive and inconsistent supervisors. “[During the meeting] the DM suggested I go home and [consider] whether I could support changes needed to make the store successful. [The DM] told how pleased she was at my decision to support such changes,” she recalled.However, upon returning the next day, she received very shabby treatment: she was terminated. Many people wrongly think Value Village is a charitable organization, with all its profits going to worthwhile causes. In fact the company, founded by Bill Ellison in 1954 in San Francisco, is now an international for-profit thrift store operation run from Bellevue, Washington by Ellison’s son, Tom. After purchasing merchandise from non-profit vendor organizations like charities, it resells to the public through its chain of 208 retail thrift stores in Canada, the United States and Australia, employing more than 9000 people worldwide.
Growing strongly and now known as Savers Inc., the company claims it benefits more than 110 local non-profit organizations by purchasing and reselling donated items, and says it has paid over one billion dollars directly to its partner charities since its founding. Between 1995 and 2005, it grew from 100 to over 200 stores, and aims for further growth. Value Village’s website claims contributions to seven BC charities – five branches of the Big Brothers and Sisters Organization (BBBS), the Canadian Diabetes Association's (CDA) Clothesline and the Developmental Disabilities Trust (DDT). According to the web site, The BBBS organizations are located in Kamloops, Kelowna, Prince George, Vancouver and Victoria. The Canadian Diabetes Association’s head office is in Ottawa and the Developmental Disabilities Trust is located in Richmond. Information received from the manager of Greater Vancouver branch of the BBBS organization says that the total contribution to the end of 2006 by Value Village amounted to $10,000 for a mentoring program in Chilliwack. Not all its “partners” in the BC charity community stay thrilled with Value Village. The Prince George branch of BBBS ended its seven-year connection with Value Village in mid-2005. “Our Board made the decision [to end the relationship] based on the fact that [Value Village] had unilaterally reduced the amount they paid us on the product received at the store…without renegotiating our contract,” explained Executive Director Sandy Whitwham. “They also proposed a new three year contract with annual reductions of 25 cents per okay (the company’s delivery unit) in the price they paid as well as [annual reductions] in the amount of product they would take from us,” she remembered. Whitwham said Value Village also wanted more furniture and “miscellaneous” items, neither of which the charity would be paid for – and fewer cloth goods, for which it was paid – and a 2 year non-competition clause. “Our net income would have [been about] $36,000 per year lower by the end of the proposed contract,” she said. A central problem for major charities dealing with Value Village is that they are forced to negotiate in isolation. “[This is a condition] of the Value Village contract - to not disclose the specifics of our individual contracts,” stated the Director.
A Langley woman, “Miss Monster”, described her first two weeks of Value Village employment.
“[As well as miscarrying] in my first month of pregnancy, I also had insomnia and was coughing up black shit. I was so sick I could barely walk or drink anything.” She believes she was sickened by the black mold permeating her store’s air. She was also severely bitten by bedbugs and pulled her groin twice. Neither the Fraser Health nor the Vancouver Coastal Health Authorities have reported complaints related to Value Village. “Susannah”, also employed for three months in mid-2005 in a Lower Mainland store, agreed that many Value Village outlets are toxic workplaces. “Most women I worked with were sick a lot, colds mostly and chest infections.I … have never felt so abused by management in my life”, she said, describing how she and her fellow workers opened donation bags loaded with filth, two loaded handguns, bear parts, dead mice, dead kittens, used sex toys, used feminine hygiene products and animal feces. Also rampant were spiders, mold, mildew, fleas, and other insects. She saw many injuries on the job. “I witnessed women falling, slipping and banging their heads on the rails in the production dept. Most weren't given any sympathy or concern at all [but were] encouraged to resume their duties after five minutes’ recuperation,” she recalled. Once, following a hot August day’s power outage, she was directed by management to clear the electrical room of housekeeping equipment, sale signs and assorted other stuff, before BC Hydro showed up to re-set the power – and to put it all back after Hydro crews left. Truck fumes from the loading dock flooded into the production area. Staff members were also subjected to non-stop noise. “Music in the production room was cranked high to discourage women from talking – which also prevented us from hearing warnings when dangerous situations occurred.” “The only person allocated gloves for hygiene purposes was the "sorter", the rest of the production line, hangers, pricers etc were given none,” she explained.
Backroom employees working a certain merchandise stream at one Lower Mainland store are expected to meet the following quotas during their shift: women’s wear 2000 items, men’s 800 - 900, children’s/infants’ 750, house wares 1200, bed & bath 800, book 450, footwear 200 and garage150. These quotas often put a great deal of stress on employees. For example, 2000 women’s wear items per shift works out to approximately four and a half items per minute. Workers on the incoming end of things are expected to sort at least seven carts (about four tons) a day although, as one former store manager told me, they would prefer to get “eight out of you”. All new employees start off at about $9 per hour, which increases at six months and then on annual basis – if they pass a performance review. When a store’s sales target is met, all store employees receive a bonus. “[But not very often], because [sales targets] are set ridiculously high,” cautions the former manager, mentioned above. According to this former store manager, the average Lower Mainland outlet, with a staff about 20 and open about 70 hours per week, spends about $12,600 per week on wages. Expected revenues would be about $25,000 per day or $175,000 per week. Average weekly income for Lower Mainland and Island stores ranged from $40,000 to $107,000 per week – the latter number a one week total for the Victoria, Vancouver Island, store. “…the total bottom line for all stores ranges between $30,000 and $65,000 per week,” she estimated.
An executive suite member calling himself Deep Throat put the value of donations in a different light: charities, when contracting with Value Village, promise that 25% of the goods that they bring to the store will be “hard” goods and miscellaneous items – for which they will not be paid. This means, he indicated, that if one calculates the total amount of goods the charities bring to the store and compares that amount to the under 75% of the goods for which they are actually paid (soft goods like clothing), the unit cost to Value Village falls to about $7.44 per Okay. “Deep Throat” summarized Value Village’s 2004 fiscal situation in Canada as follows: “second hand” sales were $240,968,381 for Value Village along with $8,770,953 in Halloween sales (from which the company pays nothing to its charity partners) for total sales of $250,729,287.“Generally speaking [profits] range from 20-30%. Depending on the location...some might actually run as high as 35%.”
Fuck that.
Growing strongly and now known as Savers Inc., the company claims it benefits more than 110 local non-profit organizations by purchasing and reselling donated items, and says it has paid over one billion dollars directly to its partner charities since its founding. Between 1995 and 2005, it grew from 100 to over 200 stores, and aims for further growth. Value Village’s website claims contributions to seven BC charities – five branches of the Big Brothers and Sisters Organization (BBBS), the Canadian Diabetes Association's (CDA) Clothesline and the Developmental Disabilities Trust (DDT). According to the web site, The BBBS organizations are located in Kamloops, Kelowna, Prince George, Vancouver and Victoria. The Canadian Diabetes Association’s head office is in Ottawa and the Developmental Disabilities Trust is located in Richmond. Information received from the manager of Greater Vancouver branch of the BBBS organization says that the total contribution to the end of 2006 by Value Village amounted to $10,000 for a mentoring program in Chilliwack. Not all its “partners” in the BC charity community stay thrilled with Value Village. The Prince George branch of BBBS ended its seven-year connection with Value Village in mid-2005. “Our Board made the decision [to end the relationship] based on the fact that [Value Village] had unilaterally reduced the amount they paid us on the product received at the store…without renegotiating our contract,” explained Executive Director Sandy Whitwham. “They also proposed a new three year contract with annual reductions of 25 cents per okay (the company’s delivery unit) in the price they paid as well as [annual reductions] in the amount of product they would take from us,” she remembered. Whitwham said Value Village also wanted more furniture and “miscellaneous” items, neither of which the charity would be paid for – and fewer cloth goods, for which it was paid – and a 2 year non-competition clause. “Our net income would have [been about] $36,000 per year lower by the end of the proposed contract,” she said. A central problem for major charities dealing with Value Village is that they are forced to negotiate in isolation. “[This is a condition] of the Value Village contract - to not disclose the specifics of our individual contracts,” stated the Director.
A Langley woman, “Miss Monster”, described her first two weeks of Value Village employment.
“[As well as miscarrying] in my first month of pregnancy, I also had insomnia and was coughing up black shit. I was so sick I could barely walk or drink anything.” She believes she was sickened by the black mold permeating her store’s air. She was also severely bitten by bedbugs and pulled her groin twice. Neither the Fraser Health nor the Vancouver Coastal Health Authorities have reported complaints related to Value Village. “Susannah”, also employed for three months in mid-2005 in a Lower Mainland store, agreed that many Value Village outlets are toxic workplaces. “Most women I worked with were sick a lot, colds mostly and chest infections.I … have never felt so abused by management in my life”, she said, describing how she and her fellow workers opened donation bags loaded with filth, two loaded handguns, bear parts, dead mice, dead kittens, used sex toys, used feminine hygiene products and animal feces. Also rampant were spiders, mold, mildew, fleas, and other insects. She saw many injuries on the job. “I witnessed women falling, slipping and banging their heads on the rails in the production dept. Most weren't given any sympathy or concern at all [but were] encouraged to resume their duties after five minutes’ recuperation,” she recalled. Once, following a hot August day’s power outage, she was directed by management to clear the electrical room of housekeeping equipment, sale signs and assorted other stuff, before BC Hydro showed up to re-set the power – and to put it all back after Hydro crews left. Truck fumes from the loading dock flooded into the production area. Staff members were also subjected to non-stop noise. “Music in the production room was cranked high to discourage women from talking – which also prevented us from hearing warnings when dangerous situations occurred.” “The only person allocated gloves for hygiene purposes was the "sorter", the rest of the production line, hangers, pricers etc were given none,” she explained.
Backroom employees working a certain merchandise stream at one Lower Mainland store are expected to meet the following quotas during their shift: women’s wear 2000 items, men’s 800 - 900, children’s/infants’ 750, house wares 1200, bed & bath 800, book 450, footwear 200 and garage150. These quotas often put a great deal of stress on employees. For example, 2000 women’s wear items per shift works out to approximately four and a half items per minute. Workers on the incoming end of things are expected to sort at least seven carts (about four tons) a day although, as one former store manager told me, they would prefer to get “eight out of you”. All new employees start off at about $9 per hour, which increases at six months and then on annual basis – if they pass a performance review. When a store’s sales target is met, all store employees receive a bonus. “[But not very often], because [sales targets] are set ridiculously high,” cautions the former manager, mentioned above. According to this former store manager, the average Lower Mainland outlet, with a staff about 20 and open about 70 hours per week, spends about $12,600 per week on wages. Expected revenues would be about $25,000 per day or $175,000 per week. Average weekly income for Lower Mainland and Island stores ranged from $40,000 to $107,000 per week – the latter number a one week total for the Victoria, Vancouver Island, store. “…the total bottom line for all stores ranges between $30,000 and $65,000 per week,” she estimated.
An executive suite member calling himself Deep Throat put the value of donations in a different light: charities, when contracting with Value Village, promise that 25% of the goods that they bring to the store will be “hard” goods and miscellaneous items – for which they will not be paid. This means, he indicated, that if one calculates the total amount of goods the charities bring to the store and compares that amount to the under 75% of the goods for which they are actually paid (soft goods like clothing), the unit cost to Value Village falls to about $7.44 per Okay. “Deep Throat” summarized Value Village’s 2004 fiscal situation in Canada as follows: “second hand” sales were $240,968,381 for Value Village along with $8,770,953 in Halloween sales (from which the company pays nothing to its charity partners) for total sales of $250,729,287.“Generally speaking [profits] range from 20-30%. Depending on the location...some might actually run as high as 35%.”
Fuck that.
the evil that men do
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones.
- Shakespeare
We will wonder what he may have kept of his unconditional right to secrecy
while at the same time burning with the desire to know, to make known, and to archive
the very things he concealed forever.
What did he conceal, even beyond the intention to conceal?
Beyond the intention to lie or to perjure?
We will always wonder what - sharing with compassion this archive fever -
what may have burned of his secret passions, of his correspondences, or of his life -
burned without him, without remains, and without knowledge
without the least symptom
and without even an ash
- Jacques Derrida (Archive Fever)
The good is oft interred with their bones.
- Shakespeare
We will wonder what he may have kept of his unconditional right to secrecy
while at the same time burning with the desire to know, to make known, and to archive
the very things he concealed forever.
What did he conceal, even beyond the intention to conceal?
Beyond the intention to lie or to perjure?
We will always wonder what - sharing with compassion this archive fever -
what may have burned of his secret passions, of his correspondences, or of his life -
burned without him, without remains, and without knowledge
without the least symptom
and without even an ash
- Jacques Derrida (Archive Fever)
a posteriori
i used to be a union man
before the work went the way of all things
now my card sits in the drawer with the dead batteries and canadian tire money
i pay dues only when it means a proper day's pay
otherwise i am in bad standing
not quite a scab as such but rather another casualty
a union is only as strong as its members of course
but there is also the subject of the work going the way of all things
still i'd say get a union job if you can
i would if i were you
either way you'll find yourself doing what you have to do
before the work went the way of all things
now my card sits in the drawer with the dead batteries and canadian tire money
i pay dues only when it means a proper day's pay
otherwise i am in bad standing
not quite a scab as such but rather another casualty
a union is only as strong as its members of course
but there is also the subject of the work going the way of all things
still i'd say get a union job if you can
i would if i were you
either way you'll find yourself doing what you have to do
you are not your job
ice cream scooper at the Marriot residence cafeteria:
please don't take the ice cream out of the freezer to soften it for easier scooping
treeplanting:
never steal trees or say that you are pro-union
advertising copywriter:
if you can't show genuine enthusiasm for the product, you are not right for this business
data entry at the truck repair garage:
I think I can finally forgive myself for accusing the wrong guy of anonymous sexual harassment
please don't take the ice cream out of the freezer to soften it for easier scooping
treeplanting:
never steal trees or say that you are pro-union
clerk at the CAA:
whatever happened to the other clerk, who quit her job and went to australia for the guy she met at the airport?
dessert girl in Yorkville:
please take your glasses off to look prettier, and cut the desserts smaller
advertising copywriter:
if you can't show genuine enthusiasm for the product, you are not right for this business
data entry at the truck repair garage:
I think I can finally forgive myself for accusing the wrong guy of anonymous sexual harassment
Drummond Report
Subject: FW: Communists Say NO to Austerity! NO to Drummond!
Date: Sun, 19 Feb 2012 11:08:34 -0500
Date: Sun, 19 Feb 2012 11:08:34 -0500
Greece and Italy have unelected bankers running them. Ontario is trying to catch up with Drummond.
the boys and their boots
real men wear boots because
you never know
you never know when you might have to kick the shit out of someone
or do some construction work
you never know
you never know when you might have to kick the shit out of someone
or do some construction work
Tom Altizer
The Revolutionary
It is perhaps the ultimate paradox that Thomas J. J. Altizer, the former Emory professor whose radical 1960s “death of God” theology earned him a glaring media spotlight, international infamy, and dozens of personal death threats, is utterly fixated on God.
In his foreword to Altizer’s memoir released this spring,Living the Death of God, religion scholar Mark. Taylor calls Altizer “the last theologian” and “the most God-obsessed person I have ever known.”
Altizer came to Emory in 1956, a young, handsome religion professor burning with radical ideas. During his twelve years here, he led what was nothing short of a revolution among a small band of like-minded theologians who called themselves “Christian atheists” and proclaimed the death of God as commonly known. At the height of a national controversy, some Christians called for Altizer’s death, as Emory’s president stepped forward to defend his academic freedom—a moment that would shape the University’s future as surely as it would shape Altizer’s fate.
“The truth is,” Altizer writes, “that I was given deep support throughout this period, and while I offended many permanently, and lost every hope of a foundation grant or a major academic appointment, I have never regretted the offense that I gave. A new community opened to me, a community of a wide variety of people, for this country is passionately religious, and at bottom, in rebellion at what it has been given as religion.”
Now seventy-nine, retired, and living alone in Mount Pocono, Pennsylvania, Altizer says his memoir represents his attempt to retrace his lifelong theological journey and “recount my own theological voids”—voids that finally led him to a deeper understanding of God.
“You have to go through the depths of darkness to realize the joyous glory of the light,” he says. “My work really means just the opposite of what everyone thinks. I’m violently misunderstood.”
“The truth is,” Altizer writes, “that I was given deep support throughout this period, and while I offended many permanently, and lost every hope of a foundation grant or a major academic appointment, I have never regretted the offense that I gave. A new community opened to me, a community of a wide variety of people, for this country is passionately religious, and at bottom, in rebellion at what it has been given as religion.”
Now seventy-nine, retired, and living alone in Mount Pocono, Pennsylvania, Altizer says his memoir represents his attempt to retrace his lifelong theological journey and “recount my own theological voids”—voids that finally led him to a deeper understanding of God.
“You have to go through the depths of darkness to realize the joyous glory of the light,” he says. “My work really means just the opposite of what everyone thinks. I’m violently misunderstood.”
Descended from General Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson, Thomas Jonathan Jackson Altizer grew up mostly in West Virginia in a family that was “deeply Southern” and marked, he says, by madness. He did learn a love of books from his father, who told Altizer his own father also revered the printed word, with one notable exception: in a fit of rage, Altizer’s grandfather once hurled Nietzsche’s The Antichrist into the fire. Although Altizer claims he was deeply taken with Christianity as a youth, he was raised with little religious guidance, left to find his own way through reading and prayer.
Altizer attended the University of Chicago from 1947 to 1954, finishing with a PhD. During his early years there, he also served as a chaplain at an Episcopal church and was on a path to becoming an Episcopal priest. But candidates for the priesthood were required to undergo a rigorous psychiatric exam, which, as Altizer writes, he “unexpectedly and totally failed.” Indeed, a psychiatrist told him he could expect to be institutionalized within the year.
In the weeks before the examination, Altizer remembers being in a “turbulent condition,” a period when he experienced a violent transformation that would profoundly inform his work from then on.
“This occurred late at night, while I was in my room,” he writes. “I suddenly awoke and became truly possessed and experienced an epiphany of Satan, which I have never been able fully to deny, an experience in which I could actually feel Satan consuming me, absorbing me into his very being. . . . Satan and Christ soon became my primary theological motifs, and my deepest theological goal eventually became one of discovering a coincidentia oppositorium [coincidence of opposites] between them.”
Altizer attended the University of Chicago from 1947 to 1954, finishing with a PhD. During his early years there, he also served as a chaplain at an Episcopal church and was on a path to becoming an Episcopal priest. But candidates for the priesthood were required to undergo a rigorous psychiatric exam, which, as Altizer writes, he “unexpectedly and totally failed.” Indeed, a psychiatrist told him he could expect to be institutionalized within the year.
In the weeks before the examination, Altizer remembers being in a “turbulent condition,” a period when he experienced a violent transformation that would profoundly inform his work from then on.
“This occurred late at night, while I was in my room,” he writes. “I suddenly awoke and became truly possessed and experienced an epiphany of Satan, which I have never been able fully to deny, an experience in which I could actually feel Satan consuming me, absorbing me into his very being. . . . Satan and Christ soon became my primary theological motifs, and my deepest theological goal eventually became one of discovering a coincidentia oppositorium [coincidence of opposites] between them.”
In 1955, the year before he arrived at Emory, Altizer was reading in the University of Chicago library when he experienced a similar revelation—but the inverse of his encounter with Satan.
“I had what I have ever since regarded as a genuine religious conversion, and this was a conversion to the death of God,” he writes. “Never can such an experience be forgotten, and while it truly paralleled my earlier experience of the epiphany of Satan, this time I experienced a pure grace, as though it were the very reversal of my experience of Satan.”
On a most basic level, Altizer studies God not as a separate presence but as a historical force that has been transformed by death. This God began giving himself to the world at its creation and ultimately died through Jesus Christ, whose earthly demise in turn poured the spirit of God into the world. Altizer calls for a dialectical form of faith that acknowledges the coincidence of opposites: through God’s death, the sacred becomes profane, and vice versa; one cannot exist without the other. Only in modernity, Altizer believes, can we fully realize the paradox of the death of God—that the very absence of God signifies God’s presence in all things.
When the death-of-God movement began to capture national attention in the early 1960s, Altizer was one of a handful of cutting-edge New Testament scholars who were starting to garner a reputation for themselves and the University as a site of groundbreaking, even revolutionary, religious thought.
“It was as though Emory was a truly radical center, or surely it was so theologically,” Altizer writes. “Such an environment would be impossible to imagine today, but that was a time of breakthrough theologically, and above all so in America, the new America, which at that very time was becoming the dominant power in the world.”
Altizer’s death-of-God theology was featured in two TIMEmagazine articles in 1965 and 1966, the latter hitting newsstands around Easter with the question “Is God Dead?” in bold red letters against a stark black background. A national outcry ensued. The story prompted a record number of letters to the editor, and Altizer began to make appearances around the country, including on the popularMerv Griffin Show, which ended in a hurried exit as the chanting crowd called for Altizer’s death. He tried, he says, to use these opportunities not to lecture but to preach—to preach the death of God as “the good news” of redemption and joy. He jokingly calls himself the first televangelist.
“Tom just doesn’t use moderate words,” Jack S. Boozer, then chair of the religion department, told Emory Magazinein 1987. “We tried to get him to use another phrase than the death of God . . . But he said no, so much is at stake that there is no other way to say it.”
Despite the intended meaning of his message, Altizer did not find most audiences receptive to the news.
“I think I became one of the most hated men in America,” he writes. “Murder threats were almost commonplace, savage assaults upon me were widely published, and the churches were seemingly possessed by a fury against me.”
At Emory, where the Board of Trustees had just approved the announcement of a $25 million capital campaign, administrators led by President Sanford S. Atwood were wrestling with a serious problem. Many alumni, supporters, and representatives of the Methodist church were calling for Altizer’s immediate termination. Ultimately, however, Atwood decided to defend Altizer on the grounds of academic freedom and protected his position in the religion department. And legend has it that certain major donors—including Robert W. Woodruff and the Ford Foundation—supported Atwood, whose stance made the cover of the New York Times.
“Altizer is a professor who feels he has an idea worth discussing,” Atwood was widely quoted as saying. “He has the right to do so.”
It was a turning point for Emory. Many credit this moment—which closely followed the University’s progressive actions on desegregation—with Emory’s shift from a regional Methodist university to a national institution known for serious religious scholarship.
In 1968 Altizer departed Emory for the State University of New York at Stony Brook. There he taught English until his retirement, but he has never ceased his passionate theological journey, and many scholars of his work claim his most profound revelations and writings have occurred in the years since he faded from the public eye. Yet he is increasingly disillusioned and concerned about the current state of theology and religious life.
“This is a very dark period,” he says. “I certainly believe that never in my lifetime has the church been so paradoxical. On the one hand, it is seemingly stronger than ever before. On the other, it is weaker and more mindless than ever before. In all major denominations, fights are going on because fundamentalism is so extraordinarily powerful today. Fundamentalism is in ultimate conflict with the modern world.”
The years have mellowed Altizer very little. Still feisty and fervent in his views, he is a bit miffed at the tepid response to his memoir—though not much surprised.
“Of course it’s not going to be taken seriously in the popular world,” he says, adding with a touch of irritation, “but you’d think this Satan business would catch on.”
At Emory, where the Board of Trustees had just approved the announcement of a $25 million capital campaign, administrators led by President Sanford S. Atwood were wrestling with a serious problem. Many alumni, supporters, and representatives of the Methodist church were calling for Altizer’s immediate termination. Ultimately, however, Atwood decided to defend Altizer on the grounds of academic freedom and protected his position in the religion department. And legend has it that certain major donors—including Robert W. Woodruff and the Ford Foundation—supported Atwood, whose stance made the cover of the New York Times.
“Altizer is a professor who feels he has an idea worth discussing,” Atwood was widely quoted as saying. “He has the right to do so.”
It was a turning point for Emory. Many credit this moment—which closely followed the University’s progressive actions on desegregation—with Emory’s shift from a regional Methodist university to a national institution known for serious religious scholarship.
In 1968 Altizer departed Emory for the State University of New York at Stony Brook. There he taught English until his retirement, but he has never ceased his passionate theological journey, and many scholars of his work claim his most profound revelations and writings have occurred in the years since he faded from the public eye. Yet he is increasingly disillusioned and concerned about the current state of theology and religious life.
“This is a very dark period,” he says. “I certainly believe that never in my lifetime has the church been so paradoxical. On the one hand, it is seemingly stronger than ever before. On the other, it is weaker and more mindless than ever before. In all major denominations, fights are going on because fundamentalism is so extraordinarily powerful today. Fundamentalism is in ultimate conflict with the modern world.”
The years have mellowed Altizer very little. Still feisty and fervent in his views, he is a bit miffed at the tepid response to his memoir—though not much surprised.
“Of course it’s not going to be taken seriously in the popular world,” he says, adding with a touch of irritation, “but you’d think this Satan business would catch on.”
Where there is no antagonist, you cannot quarrel. — Japanese Proverb
Listen a hundred times; ponder a thousand times; speak once. — Turkish Proverb
home remedies for toothache
do not go bouncing around when your tooth is throbbing
run ice cold water on the hand and wrist
send prayers please
we are talking about the kinda pain that would make the Terminator cry
i've got three kids and one was very complicated and I STILL say i'd rather give birth
my toothache has been so bad that i called every person who i did not sympathize with when they were suffering
DO NOT SWALLOW ANY OF THE HYDROGEN PEROXIDE
masturbation is a very small price to pay (if you even want to call it that) for relief from a toothache
Pre-Pottery Neolithic B
Boian cultureCernavodă cultureCoțofeni cultureCucuteni-Trypillian cultureDudeşti cultureGorneşti cultureGumelniţa–Karanovo cultureHamangia cultureLinear Pottery cultureMalta TemplesPetreşti cultureSesklo cultureTisza cultureTiszapolgár cultureUsatovo cultureVarna cultureVinča cultureVučedol cultureNeolithic TransylvaniaNeolithic Southeastern Europe
the good word
sometimes good things happen to bad people
sometimes bad things happen to good people
sometimes nothing happens at all
or a stranger falls asleep beside you on the plane
and you have no idea of whether or not she is a good person or bad, and whether falling asleep on the plane
will have positive or negative consequences
you put yourself in her shoes as we're told to when we feel inclined to judge,
you weigh it out:
she may miss the greatest movie ever or skysnack might be chicken masala
she be up all night upon arrival in vancouver and so in no shape for the job interview come 8am
or she could be the holy mother herself sacred and secure in her circadian rhythms with no interest in chicken, matt damon or early morning interviews.
of course it's hard to know what's going on sometimes
i leave so much up to trust and faith and hope and fate at this point
that i fear i can't shake my religion despite my whoring, gambling and filth
so i embrace it cautiously leaving the supernatural to the storytellers
and keep just the good word
what's the good word? my uncle you used to ask me
what's the good word?
what's the good word?
i ask the internet and it tells me: TO HELL WITH GEORGIA!
my son asked me what god is
i said, god is love, without hestitation
i believe it is the truth
but that's about it
i mean
jesus christ
sometimes bad things happen to good people
sometimes nothing happens at all
or a stranger falls asleep beside you on the plane
and you have no idea of whether or not she is a good person or bad, and whether falling asleep on the plane
will have positive or negative consequences
you put yourself in her shoes as we're told to when we feel inclined to judge,
you weigh it out:
she may miss the greatest movie ever or skysnack might be chicken masala
she be up all night upon arrival in vancouver and so in no shape for the job interview come 8am
or she could be the holy mother herself sacred and secure in her circadian rhythms with no interest in chicken, matt damon or early morning interviews.
of course it's hard to know what's going on sometimes
i leave so much up to trust and faith and hope and fate at this point
that i fear i can't shake my religion despite my whoring, gambling and filth
so i embrace it cautiously leaving the supernatural to the storytellers
and keep just the good word
what's the good word? my uncle you used to ask me
what's the good word?
what's the good word?
i ask the internet and it tells me: TO HELL WITH GEORGIA!
my son asked me what god is
i said, god is love, without hestitation
i believe it is the truth
but that's about it
i mean
jesus christ
"to rock the planet, I don't stop for panic" - Common
It is the very success of capitalism (greater efficiency, raised productivity, etc.) which produces unemployment, rendering more and more workers useless: what should be a blessing - less hard labour needed - becomes a curse. Or, to put it differently, the chance to be exploited in a long-term job is now experienced as a privilege.
- Slavoj Žižek
We are here alive today because our ancestors dared to dream
- Maya Angelou / Common - The Dreamer
- Slavoj Žižek
We are here alive today because our ancestors dared to dream
- Maya Angelou / Common - The Dreamer
giving back
i was taking a train on the bloor line to yonge. at yonge station i was approached by three sets of tourists asking how to get to finch station, queen st. and donlands respectively. it happened all of a sudden and i was happy to be useful for a change. i don't know why they chose me - perhaps i am approachable.
i laughed and said, 'hey it's like i work for the TTC now'. the chinese tourist laughed and repeated to her husband, 'oh ha ha he say he like as if werking for TEETEECEE'. (i don't mind imitating accents of any nation. when done with the right intention i think it is a perfectly acceptable practice.)
lovely.
they all were grateful and i hopped on the southbound train to dundas where i was going to transfer to the streetcar to take me a few blocks east to jarvis where i had a meeting with my lawyer.
i realized as the streetcar approached that i had absent-mindedly forgotten to get a transfer at the station. so i waited for everyone else to get aboard and when i got on the car i said to the driver, with good manners i should add, "hi. look. i'm really sorry. i forgot to get a transfer. i don't suppose you could take my word for it?".
now i had another token so i knew i was covered and what i expected was either a quick once over and a friendly nod of the head, or, more likely the customary, "3 bucks like everyone else", but what i got was a despondant, nay a despairing, "i-don't-give-a-shit-any-more. si'down."
boy was he expressing some serious job dissatisfaction! i wasn't expecting that so i stumbled and said something like, 'ah geez' and then dropped the token in the box (thereby paying double the fare!) and i sat down.
the gesture seemed to do something to him. i don't what. i think it somehow cheered him up. i think i might have in a small way improved his job satisfaction. he kept looking ta me in the mirror and sort of smiling. sort of. maybe it allowed him to give a shit again? i don't know.
in any case, today i feel like i've given a little bit back to the TTC. i still may be going to jail in 6 weeks but at least i'll have today.
i laughed and said, 'hey it's like i work for the TTC now'. the chinese tourist laughed and repeated to her husband, 'oh ha ha he say he like as if werking for TEETEECEE'. (i don't mind imitating accents of any nation. when done with the right intention i think it is a perfectly acceptable practice.)
lovely.
they all were grateful and i hopped on the southbound train to dundas where i was going to transfer to the streetcar to take me a few blocks east to jarvis where i had a meeting with my lawyer.
i realized as the streetcar approached that i had absent-mindedly forgotten to get a transfer at the station. so i waited for everyone else to get aboard and when i got on the car i said to the driver, with good manners i should add, "hi. look. i'm really sorry. i forgot to get a transfer. i don't suppose you could take my word for it?".
now i had another token so i knew i was covered and what i expected was either a quick once over and a friendly nod of the head, or, more likely the customary, "3 bucks like everyone else", but what i got was a despondant, nay a despairing, "i-don't-give-a-shit-any-more. si'down."
boy was he expressing some serious job dissatisfaction! i wasn't expecting that so i stumbled and said something like, 'ah geez' and then dropped the token in the box (thereby paying double the fare!) and i sat down.
the gesture seemed to do something to him. i don't what. i think it somehow cheered him up. i think i might have in a small way improved his job satisfaction. he kept looking ta me in the mirror and sort of smiling. sort of. maybe it allowed him to give a shit again? i don't know.
in any case, today i feel like i've given a little bit back to the TTC. i still may be going to jail in 6 weeks but at least i'll have today.
mitchell akiyama
Ur-sound, or, the noise no writing can store
Mitchell Akiyama
January 20 – February 21, 2012
1265 Bloor Street West, Gendai Workstation
The bone structure of his teeth, jaw, and cranial cavities amplify the vibrations and restore some of the hearing that his ears no longer provide. Similarly, Ludwig van Beethoven, now all but deaf, bites into a wooden rod attached to the soundboard of his piano, accessing the tactile sonority of the instrument. Twentieth century seismologists convert the raw data of the movement of tectonic plates into sound in order to better understand the power of earthquakes. The quiet shivering of the earth occasionally displays a jagged spike on a computer screen, an event that sounds like a bomb.
- Mitchell Akiyama
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