i went to the doctor to address some discomfort in my nether regions.
upon arrival i explained to the young intern in great detail the symptoms and location of the problem while he nodded and made notes on the computer.
he then went to consult with the grown-up doctor who later joined us and, after some pleasantries, introduced me to the analscope, stuck it up my ass and told me that i was simply in an itch/scratch cycle and there was nothing to worry about.
phew.