could be worse

jack's beans

2012-02-23T23:07:00.004-05:00

the answer: true love

2012-02-22T22:59:00.001-05:00

the trick is to live with the question

schmaltz is chicken fat

2012-02-21T10:23:00.001-05:00

canadian pacific police service

2012-02-19T17:48:00.001-05:00

noble savage

2012-02-19T17:44:00.000-05:00

Drummond Report

2012-02-19T11:14:00.000-05:00

Subject: FW: Communists Say NO to Austerity! NO to Drummond!
Date: Sun, 19 Feb 2012 11:08:34 -0500

Greece and Italy have unelected bankers running them. Ontario is trying to catch up with Drummond.

the boys and their boots

2012-02-18T22:46:00.002-05:00

real men wear boots because
you never know
you never know when you might have to kick the shit out of someone
or do some construction work

saturday night

2012-02-18T20:42:00.002-05:00

Tom Altizer

2012-02-18T13:50:00.000-05:00

The Revolutionary

It is perhaps the ultimate paradox that Thomas J. J. Altizer, the former Emory professor whose radical 1960s “death of God” theology earned him a glaring media spotlight, international infamy, and dozens of personal death threats, is utterly fixated on God.

In his foreword to Altizer’s memoir released this spring,Living the Death of God, religion scholar Mark. Taylor calls Altizer “the last theologian” and “the most God-obsessed person I have ever known.”

Altizer came to Emory in 1956, a young, handsome religion professor burning with radical ideas. During his twelve years here, he led what was nothing short of a revolution among a small band of like-minded theologians who called themselves “Christian atheists” and proclaimed the death of God as commonly known. At the height of a national controversy, some Christians called for Altizer’s death, as Emory’s president stepped forward to defend his academic freedom—a moment that would shape the University’s future as surely as it would shape Altizer’s fate.

“The truth is,” Altizer writes, “that I was given deep support throughout this period, and while I offended many permanently, and lost every hope of a foundation grant or a major academic appointment, I have never regretted the offense that I gave. A new community opened to me, a community of a wide variety of people, for this country is passionately religious, and at bottom, in rebellion at what it has been given as religion.”

Now seventy-nine, retired, and living alone in Mount Pocono, Pennsylvania, Altizer says his memoir represents his attempt to retrace his lifelong theological journey and “recount my own theological voids”—voids that finally led him to a deeper understanding of God.

“You have to go through the depths of darkness to realize the joyous glory of the light,” he says. “My work really means just the opposite of what everyone thinks. I’m violently misunderstood.”

Descended from General Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson, Thomas Jonathan Jackson Altizer grew up mostly in West Virginia in a family that was “deeply Southern” and marked, he says, by madness. He did learn a love of books from his father, who told Altizer his own father also revered the printed word, with one notable exception: in a fit of rage, Altizer’s grandfather once hurled Nietzsche’s The Antichrist into the fire. Although Altizer claims he was deeply taken with Christianity as a youth, he was raised with little religious guidance, left to find his own way through reading and prayer.

Altizer attended the University of Chicago from 1947 to 1954, finishing with a PhD. During his early years there, he also served as a chaplain at an Episcopal church and was on a path to becoming an Episcopal priest. But candidates for the priesthood were required to undergo a rigorous psychiatric exam, which, as Altizer writes, he “unexpectedly and totally failed.” Indeed, a psychiatrist told him he could expect to be institutionalized within the year.

In the weeks before the examination, Altizer remembers being in a “turbulent condition,” a period when he experienced a violent transformation that would profoundly inform his work from then on.

“This occurred late at night, while I was in my room,” he writes. “I suddenly awoke and became truly possessed and experienced an epiphany of Satan, which I have never been able fully to deny, an experience in which I could actually feel Satan consuming me, absorbing me into his very being. . . . Satan and Christ soon became my primary theological motifs, and my deepest theological goal eventually became one of discovering a coincidentia oppositorium [coincidence of opposites] between them.”

In 1955, the year before he arrived at Emory, Altizer was reading in the University of Chicago library when he experienced a similar revelation—but the inverse of his encounter with Satan.

“I had what I have ever since regarded as a genuine religious conversion, and this was a conversion to the death of God,” he writes. “Never can such an experience be forgotten, and while it truly paralleled my earlier experience of the epiphany of Satan, this time I experienced a pure grace, as though it were the very reversal of my experience of Satan.”

On a most basic level, Altizer studies God not as a separate presence but as a historical force that has been transformed by death. This God began giving himself to the world at its creation and ultimately died through Jesus Christ, whose earthly demise in turn poured the spirit of God into the world. Altizer calls for a dialectical form of faith that acknowledges the coincidence of opposites: through God’s death, the sacred becomes profane, and vice versa; one cannot exist without the other. Only in modernity, Altizer believes, can we fully realize the paradox of the death of God—that the very absence of God signifies God’s presence in all things.

When the death-of-God movement began to capture national attention in the early 1960s, Altizer was one of a handful of cutting-edge New Testament scholars who were starting to garner a reputation for themselves and the University as a site of groundbreaking, even revolutionary, religious thought.

“It was as though Emory was a truly radical center, or surely it was so theologically,” Altizer writes. “Such an environment would be impossible to imagine today, but that was a time of breakthrough theologically, and above all so in America, the new America, which at that very time was becoming the dominant power in the world.”

Altizer’s death-of-God theology was featured in two TIMEmagazine articles in 1965 and 1966, the latter hitting newsstands around Easter with the question “Is God Dead?” in bold red letters against a stark black background. A national outcry ensued. The story prompted a record number of letters to the editor, and Altizer began to make appearances around the country, including on the popularMerv Griffin Show, which ended in a hurried exit as the chanting crowd called for Altizer’s death. He tried, he says, to use these opportunities not to lecture but to preach—to preach the death of God as “the good news” of redemption and joy. He jokingly calls himself the first televangelist.

“Tom just doesn’t use moderate words,” Jack S. Boozer, then chair of the religion department, told Emory Magazinein 1987. “We tried to get him to use another phrase than the death of God . . . But he said no, so much is at stake that there is no other way to say it.”

Despite the intended meaning of his message, Altizer did not find most audiences receptive to the news.

“I think I became one of the most hated men in America,” he writes. “Murder threats were almost commonplace, savage assaults upon me were widely published, and the churches were seemingly possessed by a fury against me.”

At Emory, where the Board of Trustees had just approved the announcement of a $25 million capital campaign, administrators led by President Sanford S. Atwood were wrestling with a serious problem. Many alumni, supporters, and representatives of the Methodist church were calling for Altizer’s immediate termination. Ultimately, however, Atwood decided to defend Altizer on the grounds of academic freedom and protected his position in the religion department. And legend has it that certain major donors—including Robert W. Woodruff and the Ford Foundation—supported Atwood, whose stance made the cover of the New York Times.

“Altizer is a professor who feels he has an idea worth discussing,” Atwood was widely quoted as saying. “He has the right to do so.”

It was a turning point for Emory. Many credit this moment—which closely followed the University’s progressive actions on desegregation—with Emory’s shift from a regional Methodist university to a national institution known for serious religious scholarship.

In 1968 Altizer departed Emory for the State University of New York at Stony Brook. There he taught English until his retirement, but he has never ceased his passionate theological journey, and many scholars of his work claim his most profound revelations and writings have occurred in the years since he faded from the public eye. Yet he is increasingly disillusioned and concerned about the current state of theology and religious life.

“This is a very dark period,” he says. “I certainly believe that never in my lifetime has the church been so paradoxical. On the one hand, it is seemingly stronger than ever before. On the other, it is weaker and more mindless than ever before. In all major denominations, fights are going on because fundamentalism is so extraordinarily powerful today. Fundamentalism is in ultimate conflict with the modern world.”

The years have mellowed Altizer very little. Still feisty and fervent in his views, he is a bit miffed at the tepid response to his memoir—though not much surprised.

“Of course it’s not going to be taken seriously in the popular world,” he says, adding with a touch of irritation, “but you’d think this Satan business would catch on.”

the nature of shame

2012-02-18T13:34:00.002-05:00

don't turn a fool into a martyr

2012-02-17T23:59:00.002-05:00

live and let live

Harper Valley P.T.A.

2012-02-16T21:06:00.001-05:00

Every violation of truth is not only a sort of suicide in the liar, but is a stab at the health of human society.

2012-02-16T17:39:00.000-05:00

Where there is no antagonist, you cannot quarrel. — Japanese Proverb

2012-02-16T13:54:00.001-05:00

Listen a hundred times; ponder a thousand times; speak once. — Turkish Proverb

Aristotle

2012-02-15T10:30:00.004-05:00

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime

home remedies for toothache

2012-02-14T23:40:00.002-05:00

do not go bouncing around when your tooth is throbbing

run ice cold water on the hand and wrist

send prayers please

we are talking about the kinda pain that would make the Terminator cry

i've got three kids and one was very complicated and I STILL say i'd rather give birth

my toothache has been so bad that i called every person who i did not sympathize with when they were suffering

DO NOT SWALLOW ANY OF THE HYDROGEN PEROXIDE

masturbation is a very small price to pay (if you even want to call it that) for relief from a toothache

i would advise AGAINST self tooth extraction

- from comments posted at grandma's home remedies

Pre-Pottery Neolithic B

2012-02-14T11:05:00.000-05:00

Boian cultureCernavodă cultureCoțofeni cultureCucuteni-Trypillian cultureDudeşti cultureGorneşti cultureGumelniţa–Karanovo cultureHamangia cultureLinear Pottery cultureMalta TemplesPetreşti cultureSesklo cultureTisza cultureTiszapolgár cultureUsatovo cultureVarna cultureVinča cultureVučedol cultureNeolithic TransylvaniaNeolithic Southeastern Europe

the good, the bad and the ugly

2012-02-13T21:19:00.002-05:00

i belong to a secret society
everyone should

bad influence

2012-02-13T16:28:00.001-05:00

junk food

unsavoury thoughts
television reruns and bad movies

self-publishing
it could be worse

pink pipe cleaner, men's detox

2012-02-13T08:55:00.003-05:00

tree hugger

2012-02-13T07:36:00.001-05:00

the good word

2012-02-12T14:33:00.002-05:00

sometimes good things happen to bad people
sometimes bad things happen to good people
sometimes nothing happens at all
or a stranger falls asleep beside you on the plane
and you have no idea of whether or not she is a good person or bad, and whether falling asleep on the plane
will have positive or negative consequences
you put yourself in her shoes as we're told to when we feel inclined to judge,
you weigh it out:
she may miss the greatest movie ever or skysnack might be chicken masala
she be up all night upon arrival in vancouver and so in no shape for the job interview come 8am
or she could be the holy mother herself sacred and secure in her circadian rhythms with no interest in chicken, matt damon or early morning interviews.

of course it's hard to know what's going on sometimes

i leave so much up to trust and faith and hope and fate at this point
that i fear i can't shake my religion despite my whoring, gambling and filth

so i embrace it cautiously leaving the supernatural to the storytellers
and keep just the good word
what's the good word? my uncle you used to ask me
what's the good word?
what's the good word?

i ask the internet and it tells me: TO HELL WITH GEORGIA!

my son asked me what god is
i said, god is love, without hestitation
i believe it is the truth
but that's about it
i mean
jesus christ

whitney houston: 1963-2012

2012-02-11T22:48:00.002-05:00

just like a man

2012-02-11T17:00:00.001-05:00

just like a woman

2012-02-11T10:59:00.003-05:00

"to rock the planet, I don't stop for panic" - Common

2012-02-10T19:47:00.000-05:00

It is the very success of capitalism (greater efficiency, raised productivity, etc.) which produces unemployment, rendering more and more workers useless: what should be a blessing - less hard labour needed - becomes a curse. Or, to put it differently, the chance to be exploited in a long-term job is now experienced as a privilege.

- Slavoj Žižek

We are here alive today because our ancestors dared to dream

- Maya Angelou / Common - The Dreamer

giving back

2012-02-10T15:24:00.000-05:00

i was taking a train on the bloor line to yonge. at yonge station i was approached by three sets of tourists asking how to get to finch station, queen st. and donlands respectively. it happened all of a sudden and i was happy to be useful for a change. i don't know why they chose me - perhaps i am approachable.

i laughed and said, 'hey it's like i work for the TTC now'. the chinese tourist laughed and repeated to her husband, 'oh ha ha he say he like as if werking for TEETEECEE'. (i don't mind imitating accents of any nation. when done with the right intention i think it is a perfectly acceptable practice.)

lovely.

they all were grateful and i hopped on the southbound train to dundas where i was going to transfer to the streetcar to take me a few blocks east to jarvis where i had a meeting with my lawyer.

i realized as the streetcar approached that i had absent-mindedly forgotten to get a transfer at the station. so i waited for everyone else to get aboard and when i got on the car i said to the driver, with good manners i should add, "hi. look. i'm really sorry. i forgot to get a transfer. i don't suppose you could take my word for it?".

now i had another token so i knew i was covered and what i expected was either a quick once over and a friendly nod of the head, or, more likely the customary, "3 bucks like everyone else", but what i got was a despondant, nay a despairing, "i-don't-give-a-shit-any-more. si'down."

boy was he expressing some serious job dissatisfaction! i wasn't expecting that so i stumbled and said something like, 'ah geez' and then dropped the token in the box (thereby paying double the fare!) and i sat down.

the gesture seemed to do something to him. i don't what. i think it somehow cheered him up. i think i might have in a small way improved his job satisfaction. he kept looking ta me in the mirror and sort of smiling. sort of. maybe it allowed him to give a shit again? i don't know.

in any case, today i feel like i've given a little bit back to the TTC. i still may be going to jail in 6 weeks but at least i'll have today.

signs of spring

2012-02-09T19:06:00.000-05:00

mitchell akiyama

2012-02-08T20:52:00.001-05:00

Ur-sound, or, the noise no writing can store
Mitchell Akiyama

January 20 – February 21, 2012
1265 Bloor Street West, Gendai Workstation

The bone structure of his teeth, jaw, and cranial cavities amplify the vibrations and restore some of the hearing that his ears no longer provide. Similarly, Ludwig van Beethoven, now all but deaf, bites into a wooden rod attached to the soundboard of his piano, accessing the tactile sonority of the instrument. Twentieth century seismologists convert the raw data of the movement of tectonic plates into sound in order to better understand the power of earthquakes. The quiet shivering of the earth occasionally displays a jagged spike on a computer screen, an event that sounds like a bomb.

- Mitchell Akiyama

trona

2012-02-08T18:00:00.000-05:00

U+2721 (✡)

2012-02-08T16:54:00.001-05:00

Xanthippe

2012-02-08T12:54:00.002-05:00

Socrates on his wife:

It is the example of the rider who wishes to become an expert horseman: "None of your soft-mouthed, docile animals for me," he says; "the horse for me to own must show some spirit" in the belief, no doubt, if he can manage such an animal, it will be easy enough to deal with every other horse besides. And that is just my case. I wish to deal with human beings, to associate with man in general; hence my choice of wife. I know full well, if I can tolerate her spirit, I can with ease attach myself to every human being else. (Symposium 17-19 [= 2.10])

bromance and girl code

2012-02-08T11:32:00.000-05:00

virtually any aspect of modern Western culture must be, not merely incomplete, but damaged in its central substance to the degree that it does not incorporate a critical analysis of modern homo/heterosexual definition

- Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick

Mort de l'intellectuelle

2012-02-08T11:26:00.005-05:00

Mort de l'intellectuelle Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick

Par Gildas Le Dem lundi 13 avril 2009, à 22h28 | 4277 vues

L'auteur d'«Épistémologie du placard» était universitaire, féministe et hétérosexuelle. C'était aussi l'un des grands noms des études gays, lesbiennes et queer.

Eve Sedgwick s'est éteinte à New York hier soir, le 12 avril. Née à Dayton le 2 mai 1950 sous le patronyme d'Eve Kosofsky, elle était la parfaite incarnation de l'intellectuelle américaine, juive, hétérosexuelle et mariée. Elle fut pourtant reconnue, et unanimement célébrée, comme la fondatrice des études gays et lesbiennes.

Après de brillantes études littéraires à Cornell sous la direction d'Allan Bloom, elle soutient à Yale, dès 1975, une thèse sur le roman gothique anglais. Elle enseigne entre autres à Boston, Berkeley, et finalement Duke.

C'est là, en 1985, dix ans après sa thèse, qu'elle publie le retentissant Between Men. English Literature and Homosexual Desire, une étude sur la place du désir homosexuel masculin dans les «trios» amoureux de la littérature anglaise. Elle y montre que, dans la relation entre deux hommes et une femme, les relations entre hommes (l'amitié, la rivalité) se fondent sur la double exclusion de l'homosexualité et de la féminité. Elle retourne ainsi le préjugé sur la misogynie gay, pour voir dans la sociabilité masculine hétérosexuelle la source commune de l'homophobie et du sexisme. Elle jette ainsi les fondements théoriques d'une alliance du féminisme et du mouvement gay, déplaçant l'intérêt du champ des études féministes, vers celui des études gays et lesbiennes.

Mais c'est en 1990 que Sedgwick fait sensation, en publiant Épistémologie du Placard, considéré par la suite comme un des ouvrages majeurs de la pensée queer. L'hypothèse de départ d'Eve Sedgwick est celle d'une crise dans la manière de définir la sexualité au tournant du 20e siècle, dont l'homosexualité est le centre. Alors que, jusqu'à la fin du 19e siècle, l'homosexualité caractérise des actes sexuels avec une personne du même sexe, elle devient une identité sexuelle: l'homosexuel devient une espèce signalée par une inversion de genre. La sexualité devient ce qui caractérise la personne en tant que telle, enjeu de savoir qui va devoir être analysé et décrypté - notamment à travers le jeu du secret et de la révélation qui s'articule autour du «placard». Dire l'homosexualité et se dire homosexuel tend alors à définir, et même produire la manière de vivre sa sexualité.

Atteinte d'un cancer du sein, Eve Sedgwick consacra ses derniers travaux à montrer comment cette crise de définition de l'homosexualité avait structuré les discours et stratégies autour de la crise du sida, combat dans lequel elle fit preuve d'un engagement sans relâche.

Épistémologie du Placard a été traduit et préfacé par Maxime Cervulle, et il est paru aux éditions Amsterdam en 2008.

embers

2012-02-07T22:10:00.001-05:00

how are you?
busy. but that's how we like it!
that's for sure!
and the kids? the wife?
they're good. you know. busy.
good good.
stay busy stay happy that's what i always say.
that's for sure.
and jeff? have you heard anything?
he's still.
in jail?
yeah. still in jail.

Arthur Honegger 1892-1955

2012-02-07T16:44:00.001-05:00

"It is clear that the first specification for a composer is to be dead."
-Arthur Honegger from I am a Composer (Faber and Faber 1966)

gendai (現代)

2012-02-07T14:35:00.000-05:00

Modern Japanese gendai (現代) haiku are increasingly unlikely to follow the tradition of 17 on or to take nature as their subject, but the use of juxtaposition continues to be honoured in both traditional haiku and gendai. There is a common, although relatively recent, perception that the images juxtaposed must be directly observed everyday objects or occurrences.

http://gendaigallery.org/content/about-gendai

benefits

2012-02-07T14:31:00.001-05:00

Merchandise Discounts (30-50% off)
Extended Health and Dental Plan
Registered Retirement Savings Plan
Deferred Profit Sharing Plan
Employee and Family Assistance Program
Life Insurance
Accidental Death and Dismemberment Insurance
Optional Life Insurance
Paid Holidays
Vacation Pay
Sick Pay

top regrets of the dying

2012-02-07T11:11:00.002-05:00

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

fuckin' rights!

2012-02-07T07:59:00.002-05:00

good band name

2012-02-07T00:53:00.001-05:00

dog shit

2012-02-07T00:48:00.001-05:00

Ol' City Hall

2012-02-06T20:22:00.001-05:00

evey's lucky fish

2012-02-06T20:16:00.002-05:00

Playing God -- BBC Horizon Documentary

2012-02-06T08:49:00.001-05:00

Adam Rutherford meets a new creature created by American scientists – the spider-goat. It is part goat, part spider, and its milk can be used to create artificial spider’s web.

It is part of a new field of research, synthetic biology, with a radical aim: to break down nature into spare parts so that we can rebuild it however we please.

This technology is already being used to make bio-diesel to power cars. Other researchers are looking at how we might, one day, control human emotions by sending biological machines into our brains.

Great news!

always fresh

2012-02-05T21:20:00.005-05:00

2012-02-05T17:55:00.000-05:00

there is no mention anywhere on any calendar of any trip to any island

Feng Shui Tips for Survivors of Crime (Foo Fighters)

2012-02-05T15:19:00.002-05:00

Printed from www.WitnessJustice.org on February 5, 2012

Find a Strong Bed Location — Make sure your bed is in a powerful position with a headboard. If your bed doesn't have a headboard, tack a beach towel up or something else that could resemble a headboard. The bed should be against a solid wall with no doors or windows. The most important Feng Shui element here is to make sure the door is not aligned with the foot of the bed.

Add Symbols of Protection — The traditional Feng Shui symbols of protection are Foo Dogs, and they are typically set outside the front door, facing away from the house. If you don't have Foo Dogs, a toy soldier or small lion in a plant by your front door, facing away from the house, will work. Use something that is a symbol of protection for you.

Be Aware of Where You Sit — Think about the strongest part of the room when you enter it and try to sit there. Your back should be against the wall with no windows or door behind you. If you do have a door behind you, position a mirror in front of you so that you can see what comes in and out of your room.

Free Your Energy by Forgiving — While this is an incredibly difficult thing to do after surviving a violent crime, harboring anger can eat away at your energy and spirit. Try writing a letter, praying, or doing something that will help you to forgive. Letting go often feels like a weight has been lifted and your energy can become positive again.

Start a Helpful People Box — A small silver box (it can just be silver in color), preferably with a red lining, should be positioned in the front right corner of your home. Your helpful people box should identify the people you need help from and what they can do to help you. Similar to "the power of positive thinking" or "manifesting your destiny", a helpful people box means you are focusing on a putting energy into connecting with positive, helpful people.

one of the greats

2012-02-04T22:30:00.000-05:00

praying or paying?

2012-02-04T18:15:00.000-05:00

from (one of three) bible(s)
additional notes from my ancestors:

1 - adopted

2 - redeemed

3 - forgiven

4 - inheritance

5 - sealed

6 - raised

7 - saved

8 - created to good works

9 - made nigh

10 - peace

11 - reconciliation

12 - man & man, man & god

13 - access by the spirit

14 - made holy temple

krapp's last tape

2012-02-04T18:02:00.002-05:00

Past midnight. Never knew such silence. The earth might be uninhabited.

Etienne Cabet

2012-02-04T14:31:00.001-05:00

"Le communisme, c’est le Christianisme [...] c’est le Christianisme dans sa pureté, avant qu’il ait été dénaturé par le Catholicisme."

not the wife not the wall

2012-02-04T10:50:00.000-05:00

Wislawa Szymborska: 1923-2012

2012-02-04T01:11:00.000-05:00

Discovery
by Wislawa Szymborska

I believe in the great discovery.
I believe in the man who will make the discovery.
I believe in the fear of the man who will make the discovery.

I believe in his face going white,
his queasiness, his upper lip drenched in cold sweat.

I believe in the burning of his notes,
burning them into ashes,
burning them to the last scrap.

I believe in the scattering of numbers,
scattering them without regret.

I believe in the man's haste,
in the precision of his movements,
in his free will.

I believe in the shattering of tablets,
the pouring out of liquids,
the extinguishing of rays.

I am convinced this will end well,
that it will not be too late,
that it will take place without witnesses.

I'm sure no one will find out what happened,
not the wife, not the wall,
not even the bird that might squeal in its song.

I believe in the refusal to take part.
I believe in the ruined career.
I believe in the wasted years of work.
I believe in the secret taken to the grave.

These words soar for me beyond all rules
without seeking support from actual examples.
My faith is strong, blind, and without foundation.

community

2012-02-03T14:00:00.001-05:00

antabuse

2012-02-02T21:37:00.000-05:00

2012-02-02T18:46:00.004-05:00

victim/survivors

2012-02-02T18:36:00.000-05:00

2012-02-02T18:31:00.002-05:00

radical acceptance

2012-02-01T23:52:00.001-05:00

one who can practice

without renunciation of desire

is beyond the reach of all gods of vengeance -

a truly powerful being

hearts

2012-01-31T16:53:00.000-05:00

shoes

2012-01-31T16:44:00.001-05:00

2012-01-31T11:39:00.002-05:00

author of the yellow sweater and other stories

2012-01-31T00:08:00.000-05:00

"A fighting, hard-drinking, hard-living writer Hugh Gartner didn't fit in with the effete Canadian writers of the mid-century, who seemed to be either English professors or poets of exquisite sensibility who had turned to prose. Forget trendy ideas of the northern siege mentality, of survival, of the unforgiving landscape, and all that. Garner had no such grand conception of his art. He wrote about the people, places and events he knew—without frills. And, since Canadian people and places were what he knew, his work ended up portraying Canadian life, especially in the inner cities, better than almost anyone else during his time."

the secret of the yellow sweater

2012-01-30T22:54:00.002-05:00

how did it become magical?
how does anyone do it?

polyester/cotton yarn
knit from a pattern
sunflower yellow
worn by a granny
hours by the electric fire
bowls and bowls of barley soup
fish suppers, ice cream & fruit
cleaned up and dried by the hot water heater
some months at biggart hospital in the institutional laundry with no dilution of the energy
overseas immigration in a suitcase, then storage
rediscovered - like a dusty treasure undervalued by foolish descendants who unwittingly make 3 wishes and regret their choices but are saved at the end of the day and become wiser for it

the sunflower sweater has been around but has not seen it all
it is real, and at the same time imaginary

a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist

2012-01-30T12:22:00.002-05:00

night

2012-01-30T02:44:00.002-05:00

life in the night
nightingale
how different the ocean is
at night
a bridge across echoes and through the woods
the night train

alight on the platform
a travelling bag on squeaky wheels
threads of sunlight flashing on a wing
those birds that live inside train stations and greenhouses -
they start singing just before dawn

nothing

2012-01-29T14:07:00.000-05:00

1985 pontiac calais

2012-01-29T11:21:00.002-05:00

peter von tiesenhausen's small wooden boats

2012-01-27T18:54:00.003-05:00

dis/art

2012-01-27T14:18:00.002-05:00

2 NaS2CNEt2 + I2 → Et2NC(S)S-SC(S)NEt2 + 2 NaI (Et = C2H5)

2012-01-27T12:40:00.000-05:00

one block south of the pope

2012-01-27T11:10:00.002-05:00

Adil Omar , Pakistani rapper/singer-songwriter. [1]
Akon , Singer [2]
Dick Advocaat , Dutch football coach [3]
Ryan Adams , American musician and author [4]
Tony Adams , footballer, former Arsenal captain and England International; former manager of Portsmouth [5]
Muhammad Ali , activist, athlete, boxer , former World Heavyweight Champion , Gold Medal Olympian [6]
Emmanuelle Alt , Editor, French Vogue [7]
Simon Amstell , English Comedian and TV Host [8]
Prince Andrew, Duke of York , member of the British royal family [9]
John Ashcroft , former U.S. Attorney General [10]
Isaac Asimov , American author and chemist [11]
Reubin Askew , American politician, former Governor of Florida , United States Trade Representative and presidential candidate [12]
Barbara Bach , American actress [13]
Amitabh Bachchan Indian movie actor [14]
Ted Baillieu , Australian politician [15]
Zoe Ball , TV and radio presenter [16]
Joseph Cyril Bamford , founder of the JCB company [17]
Albert Barnes , American Presbyterian minister and Bible commentator [18]
Captain Robert Abram Bartlett , captain of ill-fated ship Karluk [19]
Tony Benn , British socialist politician [20]
Hilary Benn , British politician [21]
A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada , founder of the Hare Krishnas [22]
Joe Biden , United States Senator from Delaware and 47th Vice President of the United States , states abstinence from alcohol due to family history of alcoholism.[23]
John and Annie Bidwell , founders of Chico, California , prohibitionists [24]
Brian Blessed , British actor [25]
Hugh Bourne , joint founder of Primitive Methodism [26]
Christopher Del Bosco , Canadian freestyle skiier [27]
David Bowie , English musician [28]
Frankie Boyle , Scottish comedian [29]
Don Bradman , Australian cricketer [30]
Russell Brand , English comedian [31]
Ian Brown , English singer [32]
Phil Brooks , American professional wrestler , known as "CM Punk"[33]
Steve Brown Christian author, radio broadcaster and seminary professor.George N. Briggs , Governor of Massachusetts from 1844 to 1851 [34]
Warren E. Buffett , billionaire Investor [35]
Gerard Butler , Scottish actor [36]
George W. Bush , 43rd U.S. President, former heavy drinker , stated he quit drinking in 1986 after determining alcohol began to "compete with his energy"[37] (see also George W. Bush substance abuse controversy )John Cadbury , Founder of Cadbury 's chocolate factory.[38]
Frank Caliendo , American Comedian and Impressionist, often mentions in live shows of having never been high or drunk.Alastair Campbell , British broadcaster, journalist and adviser to Tony Blair Naomi Campbell , British model [37]
Stacey Campfield , politician from Tennessee [39]
Jim Carrey , Canadian actor [40]
Kim Cattrall , English actress [41]
Johnny Chan , American poker player, winner of ten WSOP bracelets [42]
Keith Chegwin , English television presenter [43]
Djibril Cissé , French international footballer [44]
Eric Clapton , English musician [45]
Adam Clayton , English-born musician with Irish band U2 , teetotal since 26 November 1993 [46]
J. M. Coetzee , South African novelist and academic, twice winner of the Booker Prize
John Coltrane , Jazz musician, abstained after years of drug and alcohol abuse [47]
Phil Collen , Lead guitarist for rock band Def Leppard
Billy Connolly , Scottish comedian [48]
Dane Cook , American comedian [49]
Norman Cook , DJ and producer (Fatboy Slim)[16]
Alice Cooper , Rock musician, abstinent after prolonged alcohol abuse [50]
Bradley Cooper , American actor [51]
Fearne Cotton , British TV presentor [52]
Graham Coxon , Musician, Blur guitarist [53]
Owen Coyle , Scottish football manager [54]
Tom Cruise , American actor [55]
Dick Dale , American surf rock guitarist [56]
Kristin Davis , American actress [57]
Lauren B. Davis , Canadian writer [58]
Kat Dennings , American actress [59]
Jacob L. Devers , commander of the 6th Army Group in Europe during World War II .[60]
John Diefenbaker , Prime Minister of Canada (1957–1963); told UK Prime Minister Winston Churchill, upon being offered an alcoholic drink, "I'm a teetotaler; I don't drink hard liquor." (One Canada: An Autobiography).Josh Dies , author/singer/songwriter, teetotaler since birth on 06/12/83 [61]
Eric Dolphy , jazz musician [62]
Graeme Dott , snooker player [63]
Rosie Douglas , Caribbean politician and former Prime Minister of Dominica [64]
Neal S. Dow , an early prohibitionist who was presidential candidate for the Prohibition Party in 1880 [65]
Willem Drees , Dutch politician and Prime Minister of the Netherlands .[66]
Eliza Dushku , American actress [67]
Michael Eavis , organiser of the Glastonbury Festival [68]
[edit ] F to J Lord Faulkner , Prime Minister of Northern Ireland [69]
Brett Favre , Minnesota Vikings quarterback [70]
Craig Ferguson , Talk show host and comedian [71]
Richard Feynman , American theoretical physicist, who abruptly decided to quit drinking during a trip to Brazil while a professor at Cornell University [72]
Darren Fletcher , Football player for Manchester United [73]
Nathan Bedford Forrest , Confederate Civil War cavalry General [74]
John Frusciante , American Musician/Songwriter Vincent Gallo , American filmmaker and musician [75]
George Galloway , British Member of Parliament [76]
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi , Indian political leader [77]
Michelle Gayle , British actress and singer [78]
Lee Gaze , lead guitarist in Welsh alternative rock band Lostprophets [79]
Ben Gibbard , vocalist/guitarist of Seattle indie band Death Cab for Cutie [80]
A. A. Gill , British journalist and restaurant critic for The Sunday Times [81]
Richard E Grant , English actor [82]
Pat Gray , American radio talk-show host [83]
Dick Gregory , American comedian and activist [84]
Jimmy Greaves , English Footballer [85]
Kathy Griffin , comic [86]
Che Guevara [87]
Calvin Harris , Scottish musician [88]
Rolf Harris , Australian musician, painter, television personality. Mentioned during his interview on Piers Morgan's Life Stories.Elisabeth Hasselbeck , co-host on ABC 's The View [89]
Davey Havok , lead singer for the band AFI and Blaqk Audio [90]
Rutherford B. Hayes ,[91] 19th U.S. President, and his wife Lucy Webb Hayes [92]
Javier Hernandez , Manchester United Football player [93]
James Hetfield , frontman of Metallica , after recovering from alcoholism [94]
Hinduja brothers (Srichand, Gopichand, Prakash & Ashok), Indian business family [95]
Michael Hickenbottom , American professional wrestler, better known as Shawn Michaels Adolf Hitler , Führer of the National Socialist Party (1921–1945) and Führer of Germany (1933–1945).[96]
Jack Hobbs , English batsman [97]
Anthony Hopkins (since 1975), Welsh actor [98]
Crazy Horse , Native American leader [99]
Félix Houphouët-Boigny , first President of Côte d'Ivoire [100]
Barry Humphries , Australian comic actor and satirist, after recovering from alcoholism in the 70s.[101]
Samuel L. Jackson , American Oscar nominated actor - 15 years abstinent since rehab [102]
Jessie J , British singer and songwriter,[103] due to a medical condition Thomas Stonewall Jackson , Confederate General and Presbyterian [104][105]
Jesse G. James , West Coast Choppers , Monster Garage [106]
Ken Jennings , Jeopardy! champ and blogger (Mormon)[107]
Penn Jillette , American magician , comedian , and member of Penn and Teller [108]
Steve Jobs , American businessman , Co-Founder and CEO of Apple, Inc . Former CEO of Pixar .John the Baptist , Jewish preacher and religious prophet [109]
Elton John , English musician [110]
Griff Rhys Jones , Welsh comedy writer and performer [111]
[edit ] K to O Paul Kagame , President of Rwanda [112]
Franz Kafka , Czech -Jewish novelist [113][114]
Abdul Kalam , former Indian President [115]
Natasha Kaplinsky , British Newsreader [116]
Peter Kay , English comedian [117]
Anthony Kiedis , singer of Red Hot Chili Peppers [118]
Aga Khan IV , current Imām of the Shia Imami Ismaili [119]
Stephen King , American author [120]
Ian Khama , President of Botswana [121]
Myoma U Than Kywe , Burmese Political Leader[citation needed ]Myoma Myint Kywe , Burmese Writer and Historian[citation needed ]Christine Lagarde , Managing Director of the International Monetary Fund [122]
Chris Leben , American mixed martial artist.[123]
Bruce Lee , martial arts practitioner and actor [124]
Leona Lewis , English Singer-songwriter and X-Factor winner [8]
Mike Lewis , rhythm guitarist for the Welsh alternative metal band Lostprophets [79]
Abraham Lincoln , 16th U.S. President [125]
Blake Lively , American Actress [126][not in citation given ]David Lloyd George , British prime minister [127]
Kenny Lofton , Major League Baseball player [128]
Jennifer Lopez , American actress, pop /Latin , pop/R&B singer, fashion designer , and dancer [129]
H.P. Lovecraft , American Fantasy/Horror writer [130]
Rob Lowe , American actor [131]
James Russell Lowell , American poet and diplomat [132]
Ian MacKaye , musician of Fugazi and Minor Threat , founder of Dischord Records [133] Inadvertent founder of the anti-narcotic Straight Edge subculture.Tobey Maguire , American actor [134]
Daron Malakian ,Armenian-American singer, songriter; lead guitarist and back vocal of the Heavy Metal band System of a Down [135]
Julia Mallam , English actress [21]
Bernard Manning , English comedian [136]
Marie-Antoinette , French Queen and Austrian Archduchess [137]
Chris Martin , lead singer of the British rock band, Coldplay [138]
Michael Martin , former Speaker of the House of Commons in the United Kingdom [139]
Marshall Matthers , rapper [140]
Sir Stanley Matthews , English footballer [141]
Malcolm McDowell , British actor, abstained since 1983 [142]
Ewan McGregor , Scottish actor [143]
Buster Merryfield , Actor, played Uncle Albert on Only Fools and Horses [144]
James Milner , England international footballer.[145]
Robert Mugabe , President of Zimbabwe [146]
Mike Muir , vocalist, Suicidal Tendencies [147]
Eddie Murphy , American actor [148]
Jim Murphy , British politician [149]
Andy Murray , Scottish tennis player [150]
Jimmy Nail , British actor, writer and singer [151]
Carrie Nation , Notable member of the temperance movement [152]
Mike Ness , Founder, Song Writer, Lead Singer of Social Distortion
Friedrich Nietzsche , Prussian-born, German philosopher and philologist [153]
Craig Nicholls , Song Writer, Lead Singer and Guitarist of The Vines [154]
Ross Noble , English stand-up comedian [155]
Jim Norton , American comedian and actor [156]
Ted Nugent , American hard rock guitarist and vocalist [157]
Victor Wentworth Odlum Canadian Army General, journalist, and diplomat.Gary Oldman , English actor [158]
Kelly Osbourne , Reality TV star, singer [159]
Mark Owen , British singer of band Take That [160]
Sandis Ozolinsh , NHL defenseman [161]
[edit ] P to T Ian Paisley , Ulster politician [162]
Jim Parsons , American actor, The Big Bang Theory 's Sheldon Cooper [163]
Rosalind Magee Peychaud , Louisiana political figure and inlaw of Antoine Amédée Peychaud, originator of Peychaud's Bitters
Wade Phillips , former head coach of the Dallas Cowboys [164]
Natalie Portman , American actress [165]
Prince , American musician [166]
Jade Puget , American musician of AFI [90]
Albert Pujols , Major League Baseball player [167]
Vladimir Putin , Russian Prime Minister [168]
Daniel Radcliffe , British actor [169]
Mohammad Rafi , Indian Playback Singer [170]
Brett Ratner , American film director [171]
Andy Reid , head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles [164]
Harry Reid , Democratic Senate Majority Leader [172]
Christina Ricci , American actress [173]
Terry Richardson , American photographer [174]
Bosse Ringholm , Swedish politician [175]
Anne Robinson , British game show host (The Weakest Link )[37]
John D. Rockefeller , industrialist and philanthropist [176]
John D. Rockefeller, Jr., industrialist and philanthropist [177]
Fred Rogers , American children's television host [178]
Henry Rollins , former Black Flag singer [179]
Erwin Rommel , German field marshal during World War 2 [180]
Mitt Romney , former Governor of Massachusetts (Mormon)[181]
Cristiano Ronaldo , Portuguese footballer [182]
Hans-Ulrich Rudel , German dive-bomber pilot [183]
Jerry Sadowitz , Comedian and magician [184]
Fiona Shackleton , Divorce lawyer [185]
Bill Shankly , footballer and Liverpool FC manager between 1959 and 1974 [186]
George Bernard Shaw , Irish playwright [187]
Tommy Sheridan , Scottish socialist politician [188]
Sarah Silverman , American stand-up comedian , actress, and writer [189]
Gene Simmons , American rockstar of Kiss fame [190]
Jada Pinkett Smith , American actress [191]
Alan Smith , English footballer [192]
John Snow , British physician [193]
Philip Snowden , British politician [194]
Dee Snider , Singer, songwriter and radio personality [195]
Hal Sparks , American actor [196]
Ringo Starr , English musician [197]
Rachel Stevens , English popstar [198]
Mark Stoermer , American musician, best known as bassist for rock band, The Killers [199]
Lucy Stone , American suffraget [200]
Tilda Swinton , British Actress [201]
Nándor Tánczos , Member of New Zealand Parliament Catherine Tate , British comedienne and actress [202]
Teddy Taylor , British politician [203]
Teller , American magician and member of Penn and Teller [108]
Strom Thurmond , American Senator, governor, lawyer and decorated World War II. veteran.[204]
Bill Tilghman , US Marshal and gunslinger who owned a saloon for financial reasons [205]
Pierre Elliott Trudeau (1919–2000), former Prime Minister of Canada [206]
John Travolta , American actor [207]
Donald Trump , entrepreneur [208]
Victor Trumper , Australian who was among the Wisden Cricketers of the Year [209]
Suzanne Tuberville (1960- ), public relations analyst, wife of Tommy Tuberville [210]
Tommy Tuberville (1954- ), head coach for the Texas Tech Red Raiders football team [211]
Shania Twain , Canadian singer [212]
Jeff Tweedy , American musician [213]
[edit ] U to Z Erik Van Looy , Belgian film director.[214]
Matti Vanhanen , Former Prime Minister of Finland [215]
Tom Waits , American musician [216]
JC Watts , Former American Congressman [217]
Rick Wakeman , English keyboardist with the progressive rock band Yes [218]
Denzel Washington , American actor [219]
Ian Watkins , lead singer of the Welsh band Lostprophets [220]
Gerard Way , lead singer for My Chemical Romance [221]
Mae West , American actress and playwright.[222]
Billy West , American voice actor [223]
John Wetton , English rock singer and musician, after recovering from alcoholism [224]
Jonny Wilkinson , English rugby union player and member of the England national team [225]
Bruce Willis , American actor [37]
Bill Woodfull , Australian cricketer [226]
Malcolm X , American activist/minister [227]
Mike Yarwood , UK comedian and impressionist [228]
Michael York , British actor [37]
Angus Young , Australian musician, lead guitarist for rock band AC/DC [229]
Frank Zappa , American musician [230]

2012-01-27T01:26:00.000-05:00

2012-01-26T23:12:00.001-05:00

stitches

2012-01-26T20:25:00.001-05:00

one at a time, one in time
rolling on the floor laughing
don't drop a single one or you have to unravel it back to that point
karma is a bitch
a real bitch

2012-01-26T16:19:00.001-05:00

John Ford
Ulysses S. Grant
Ernest Hemingway
Janice Dickinson
Jack Kerouac
Stephen King
David Hasselhoff
Michael J. Fox
Meredith Baxter
Eric Clapton
Hunter S. Thompson
Anne Lamott
Robert Downey, Jr.
David Crosby
McKenzie Philips
Alexander the Great
Edgar Allen Poe
Larry Hagman
John Daly
George W. Bush
Diana Ross
Mary Tyler Moore
Dick Van Dyke
Tracy Morgan
Amy Winehouse
Anna Nicole Smith
Melanie Griffith
William Shatner
Eddie Van Halen
Keith Urban
Johnny Cash
Ben Affleck
Buzz Aldrin
Truman Capote
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Dorothy Parker
Carrie Fisher
Kris Kristoferson
Franklin Pierce
Richard Burton
Elizabeth Taylor
Eddie Fisher
John Barrymore
Judy Garland
Spencer Tracy
Ava Gardner
Betty Ford
Robert Young
John Denver
Mel Gibson
William S. Burroughs
Raymond Carver
Robbie Williams
Ozzie Osborne
Brett Butler
Tim Allen
Errol Flynn
Tom Arnold
William Holden
Steve McQueen
O. Henry
Jim Morrison
Hank Williams
Billie Holliday
Veronica Lake
W.C. Fields
James Thurber
Lorenz Hart
Dylan Thomas
Janis Joplin
Jimmy Hendrix
Robin Williams
Melissa Gilbert
Beverly DeAngelo
Linda Carter
Samuel L. Jackson
Kelsey Grammer
Billy Joel
Mickey Mantle
Babe Ruth
Michael Landon
Demi Moore
Joe Namath
Jackie Gleason
Ted Kennedy
Joan Kennedy
Boris Yeltsin
Joseph Stalin
Alexander Gudonov
Ed McMahon
Dave Mustaine
Ray Charles
Doc Holiday
Winston Churchill
Frank Sinatra
John Bonham
George Carlin
Anthony Hopkins
Slash
Eugene O’Neill
Ringo Starr
Trent Reznor
J. Robert Oppenheimer
Joe Dimaggio
Lester Young
Herve Villachez
Glenn Beck
Lee Marvin
Colin Farrell
Steve Clark
Courtney Love
Kurt Cobain
Charlie Sheen
Rob Lowe
Chad Lowe
Chris Mullin
Steven Tyler
Gene Simmons
Anthony Kedis
Elton John
Natalie Wood
Nick Nolte
Tommy Lee Jones

2012-01-24T22:42:00.000-05:00

2012-01-24T13:08:00.002-05:00

there are other people who care about people

2012-01-23T22:37:00.001-05:00

the intentional and relatively traceless self-disassembly of the cell
exemplifies how the individual cell makes itself holy
sacrifice (to make holy)
by giving itself up to the whole
holy/health/whole: a trinity of meanings long forgotten

in cancer, the individual cell breaks its sacred bond with the whole
and proliferates wildly on its own

this selfish behaviour is to be expected of a cell that has been
starved of basic essential nutrients
exposed to a continuous onslaught of synthetic chemicals
and manmade electromagnetic fields
given semi-synthetic "nutrients" and "vitamins"
which no longer share resemblance with anything found in food
and enveloped in a cocoon of negative emotions
throughout its life cycle

like children who suffer profound depravations and abuse
these cells flip into survival mode
express acting out behaviour

which is self-centered

self-replicating

and aggressive (metastatic)

there are substances that stimulate neurological repair
there are substances that stimulate regeneration
there are therapeutic actions
there is also the commonly overlooked dimension of sunlight
as an irreplaceable ingredient in the regenerative process

-- adapted from

"The Flame of Cell Life-Death in the Miracle of Regeneration"
http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/flame-cell-life-death-miracle-regeneration

"The Cure for Cancer Begins With Understanding It"
http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/cure-cancer-begins-understanding-it

pull yourself from the bridge my dear man

2012-01-23T20:31:00.001-05:00

get home
walk the dog whatever
check the gofuckyourselves
take something
watch something
make something to eat
eat it
shit immediatley or diagnose self as constipated
do something
wash things
lay down
do it
someone maybe says something
wash somebody
read the books from the garbage
take something
dream about the troops
the troupes
toupee
croupe
la cleche
cobb salad

who could i be if i rewrote my biography based on the same events

2012-01-23T12:03:00.003-05:00

most of us live in a self-induced trance, identified with stories of our past, future, and present
- Dr. Gabriel Cousens

shelters

2012-01-22T22:56:00.002-05:00

we live in rooms
in apartments
in houses
some of us
in hospitals and jails
something appropriate enough will be provided sooner or later

the neighborhood leaves something
-to be desired- seems too much to wish for
i'll take the little house with the camper outside
what i mean is i'd take the camper

she knows a lot about real estate
she whispers that tired thing that no one ever said

you leave the neighborhood
you leave the woman
you can leave desire too
leaving desire leaves nothing
nothing to be desired

i would like to lose myself in impassioned debate on the message boards regarding fictional matters, more than anything in this world right now

2012-01-22T20:52:00.002-05:00

the point iam making is that telling someone that this is just a soap is insinuating they do not know the difference between fiction and nonfiction and that in itself is an insult, everyone that comment on this site or other sites have careers, families and a life outside of GH.

for the record i am calm

entitlement

2012-01-22T17:09:00.001-05:00

maintenance position

2012-01-22T15:49:00.001-05:00

We are currently looking for a part time worker to come to our shop once a week for 3 hrs. (simple general repair and maintenance)

Do not apply this is not good for you.

jesus I'm rollin' with you

2012-01-22T00:52:00.003-05:00

red berries, white elephant, blue car

2012-01-21T16:05:00.002-05:00

duff

2012-01-20T20:04:00.001-05:00

flag of carei municipality, romania/ toronto transit commission

2012-01-20T16:55:00.005-05:00

and they all lived, ever after

2012-01-19T22:03:00.001-05:00

they were plagued by problems minor and petty and some weeks the problems got the best of them

they lived like kings and queens but could never get their ears to stop ringing as if someone was trying to remind them of something

that crack in the mirror just stayed that way for years and she came to believe it made her more beautiful

he threw out perfectly good boots because of bad associations and took a job in the mail room

no one won the lottery or moved anywhere idyllic or ended a scene being showered with confetti amidst a surge of uplifting music

they kept buying groceries at the same place, even when it went out of business and reopened under a new name

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

2012-01-19T20:35:00.003-05:00

In August 2003, a Harper's article by Wil S. Hylton estimated that "somewhere between 20 and 40% of American prisoners are, at this very moment, infected with hepatitis C".

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

uncle

2012-01-19T19:47:00.003-05:00

After leaving the United States Army and moving to New York City, Brian Flanagan (Cruise) gets a part-time job as a bartender at T.G.I. Friday's while studying for a business degree (which he needs to get a job in marketing). At first, Brian is a terrible bartender, revealed in a montage of his screw ups. Over time, he learns the tricks of the trade including flairing from his boss/mentor Doug Coughlin (Bryan Brown). Brian and Doug soon become very close; Doug readily assumes a mentor role over the young and naive Brian, and rains advice and opinions down upon him. His advice takes a familiar structure as he usually begins most of them with "Coughlin's Law". An example of his expert advice, which actually turns out to be quite poignant, is "Coughlin's Law: Drink or be gone!" Other pearls include: "Bury the dead, they stink up the joint." and "Anything else is always something better."

While Brian has high personal aspirations, Doug is leery of the notion of starting their own bar together. Doug intends to call his bar "Cocktails & Dreams".

Eventually, Brian and Doug's bar-tending act becomes popular and they end up working at a trendy nightclub catering to New York's wealthy and elite, the type of establishment where yuppies spout poetry from the top of the rafters for all patrons to hear. As their popularity rises, Brian becomes the focus of attention from a sultry brunette named Coral (Gina Gershon). Quickly, they elevate their friendship into a wild sexual relationship. During a free throw shooting competition where Brian hits five free throws in a row, Doug bets him Coral will leave him by week's end, essentially doubting there is anything special about the seemingly perfect relationship shared between the two. Unbeknownst to Brian, Doug lies to Coral about secrets being shared by Brian about her, and secures his bet by bedding the hot brunette. Brian is very upset and fights with Doug at work, essentially ending his informal partnership with Doug.

Brian, taking advice from his former girlfriend, takes a job in Jamaica as a bartender to raise money for his own place. He finds a romantic partner in Jordan Mooney (Elisabeth Shue). Jordan is an aspiring artist and waitress in New York. She and Brian spend romantic times together, playing in the water, before making passionate love on the beach by a campfire. Prior to this however, Doug has shown up in Jamaica, now married to Kerry (Kelly Lynch), a wealthy woman who openly flirts with other men and wears Tarzan-like bikinis. Doug quickly asserts himself and bets Brian to be the first to sleep with a barfly named Bonnie (Lisa Banes), a wealthy older woman. Jordan catches Brian without being seen and, devastated, takes an overnight plane back home.

With Jordan flying back to New York, Brian decides to "upstage" Doug and return to New York with the cougar-esque Bonnie under the auspices that he will be placed high up in her company due to their romantic attachment. Brian becomes impatient as the pay-off is too slow. They have a blow-up during an art exhibition where Brian gets into a fight with the artist. As they cut ties, Brian, displaying wisdom one can only assume has been gleaned from his former mentor, states: "All things end badly. Otherwise they wouldn't end!"

Brian then seeks out Jordan. Much to his surprise, Brian learns that she is pregnant with his child. He embarks on a journey to win over the independent Jordan and prove to her that, despite being just a lowly bartender, he would make a worthy father. While pursuing Jordan, Brian also learns that her family is very wealthy, and he goes to her parents' Park Avenue penthouse to speak with Jordan. Unhappy with the situation, Jordan's father, Richard (Laurence Luckinbill), attempts to buy Brian off. Brian is forced to decide between the money offered which would surely help him get his bar started versus a life with Jordan and his child; Brian refuses the money. Jordan keeps her distance, not wanting to be hurt again.

Brian meets up with Doug. Despite the outward appearance of wealth, Doug confides that his wife's money is nearly gone, lost in the commodities market. Doug is despondent, unwilling to confess to his bride the precarious position they are in; Brian is completely shocked. Later on, Kerry makes Brian take her home when Doug is too drunk to do so, and forces him to walk her to her apartment. She tells him that he is the only person Doug respects and wants to discuss with him Doug's problems. However once inside, she attempts to seduce him by kissing him but Brian refuses out of respect for his friendship with Doug. Kerry gets angry at being rejected and reveals that she cannot endure sexual monogamy for the rest of her life. Brian then leaves with Kerry calling him a coward. Brian goes to check on Doug in his yacht, and discovers he has committed suicide by slashing his throat with a broken bottle of Rémy Martin Louis XIII Cognac / Baccarat Crystal. After the funeral, Kerry sends Brian a letter left for him by Doug, which is revealed to be Doug's suicide note in which he explains why he did what he did. Brian cries after reading the letter, realizing that Doug killed himself because he realized that his life was a sham.

Now reeling from the misfortune of the stiff-arm from Jordan and losing his best friend to suicide, he goes to Richard's home (where Jordan is staying) and begs her forgiveness. He further promises to take good care of her and their unborn child. Brian has a brief scuffle with Richard's staff, then takes the willing Jordan by the hand and heads for the door. They leave together, finally, as a couple and future parents. Richard pledges not to lend a dime to the fledgling couple. Using the advice of the other mentor in his life, his Uncle Pat (Ron Dean), Brian is able to finally achieve his lifelong goal, he opens a neighbourhood bar called "Flanagan's Cocktails & Dreams". Brian and Jordan have their wedding reception at the smoky bar while Jordan is visibly pregnant. Just before the credits roll, Jordan reveals she is pregnant with twins. Brian offers free drinks to celebrate, much to his Uncle Pat's chagrin who turns a gun on Brian and then on himself.

2012-01-19T13:18:00.005-05:00

self-care secrets

2012-01-18T15:11:00.002-05:00

"I didn't know how to keep myself warm in the winter or cool in the summer. It felt like somebody was withholding all the secrets..."

- Michelle Williams

i had a list

2012-01-18T14:43:00.003-05:00

there is nothing to say and nothing to do
but lie in bed and think about ... things
the mice
the virus
the bacteria
the dust
the articles and belongings I have taken responsibility for and must somehow dispose of
the broken glass I am learning to ignore
the child labour I lightheartedly bought into
the sunshine returning

I could say I'm far behind on my list of things to do
I could catch up with myself running laps on that track or let her go

status update

2012-01-18T12:18:00.003-05:00

When I was a pro it was strongly encouraged that I get married. We tried to get the wife photographed at as many events as possible and I would mention her in interviews:

"Sheila worries that I work too hard", or, "I'm very grateful to Sheila for..."

I didn't mind. I liked her and I liked talking about her and seeing her in the newspapers. When it all went to shit however I spoke about her less often and that felt appropriate enough. Now I just mention the bitches or in higher minded company the ladies.

I have a different image now which fits with the work I'm doing. I don't mind talking like that. It makes me feel, if not like a man, then at least like a professional - someone who needs to mention things (women). Someone who is encouraged to speak about certain things in certain ways.

My life is actually quite fascinating AND NOT NEARLY AS SHALLOW AS IT SOUNDS. That's just business.

I have seven children most of whom I know quite well and ~~I spend a lot of time involved in various activities too numerous and varied to mention here~~. Anyway, things have slowed down quite a lot and I'm not sure even if I even qualify as pro anymore. I'm on disability and as a result not so much in the public eye, not so much in the press, and without much cause to mention anything at all.

I had to sell the house and am now much happier in a smaller apartment. It's really cozy and cheap to heat. (I love how that sounds! Cheap-to-Heat! I wish there was a song called that. I would like to learn how to sing it also into the computer.) Cable, internet, parking. It's awesome. Really central also. Close to all amenities, the bus and bars and stuff like that. Lot's of sports bars which I like.

Listen, life is good but I can't complain. I miss the kids a little - some of them anyway- but having a sauna in the building doesn't hurt. Doesn't hurt one bit.

neo-neo-citron

2012-01-18T11:04:00.003-05:00

last night i dreamed that me and some friends burgled
my parents home in the country for old stereo equipment and video tapes
they caught us in the act but quickly decided to help out
as they were in the process of downsizing
we loaded the worthless loot into moving vans
taking up residences in small huts in a place resembling something between
a home hardware lumber yard and the the karnatic southern shores of goa
i woke up in toronto in my underwear surrounded by
the warm clutter of pill bottles, bandages, a charged phone, bible,
and laundered clothes
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/obscure2/anti-pope.html

she's not a girl who misses much

2012-01-17T22:58:00.003-05:00

the empowerment tragedy

2012-01-17T10:53:00.002-05:00